I'm Sorry
by DanRosa224
Summary: Ludwig and Feli get into a fight that leaves Feli hurt. Will Ludwig find the words to make things right? Or will he hurt Feli even further? TW: Verbal fight and mentions of depression/mentions of past self harm. Rated T to be safe


**Apparently, this week is gerita week. I usually don't participate in these kinds of things but I've been under a lot of stress lately, I had the urge to write and I saw one of the prompts was "Fighting" and so I came up with this at 12 am.**

 **TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of past self-harm**

 **POV: 3** **rd** **person**

Yells of anger could be heard throughout the house. Yes every couple had their little arguments but this was defiantly not just some little disagreement. Feliciano had grown uneasy during these past few weeks. Ludwig spent nearly all his time either at work or in his office at home. Any time away from his paperwork was spent drinking and away from Feliciano. Feli had grown concerned about his lover and had tried to confront Ludwig several times about his behavior, only to be brushed off; Ludwig making some excuse to leave the conversation and go off somewhere. Today Feli had had enough, walking into his office and forcing Ludwig to talk, not taking his excuses and trying to get an explanation from him. This led to the current fighting.

"Honestly why won't you just talk to me! Tell me what's been going on with you!"

"I've told you it's nothing."

"Then why have you been avoiding me?"

"I'm not"

"Yes you are, you won't even look at me!" At this statement, Ludwig said nothing, opting to remain silent and continue to look away.

"Ludwig please…"

"I said I'm fine!" he snapped at the brunet, slamming his hand down on the table beside him, causing his lover to flinch. Feli, however, recovered quickly and continued to argue.

"You're not fine! Seriously, you're going to either work or drink yourself to death if you keep this up! Please Ludwig I just want to help-

"Well you're not!" he cut off the smaller man. "All you've been doing is bothering me while I'm trying to work! You constantly annoy me and just stress me out further!" He didn't mean that, he truly didn't, but with all of his pent up stress, this argument just made him snap. He would later regret it. He would beat himself up and drown in guilt but now, now he merely continued to spew out insults, his words slowly breaking the Italian's heart little by little, until he finally stopped. His anger now subsided, it took him a moment to realize what he had just done. Looking at him, he felt his own heart break a little at the sight of his lover shaking in fear with tears streaming down his face.

"Feli-"

"I-I'm sorry. I won't bother you again…" Feli ran up the stairs, rushing to their shared room and slamming the door shut.

 **A week later…**

To say that he was worried was an understatement. It had been a full week since their fight and he has yet to see Feliciano at all. The night of the fight, after giving them both time to calm down, he had tried to talk to Feli, only to be met with a locked door and silence. He decided to just leave him be and give him some space. He would have to come out eventually, right? Wrong. As far as he could tell, Feli had not come out of the room at all, not even to eat. His worry grew much larger each day, but he could never find the right words to say to make things better or sometimes couldn't even find the courage to face him.

He knew Feliciano had a past with depression and self-harm. Feli had admitted to him a few months ago that he had been at one point suicidal, hating himself and thinking that others (including Ludwig) didn't want him around and only found him as annoying and a burden. Ludwig did his best to try and chase these ideas away from Feli's mind. Trying to show him he was loved and helping him with his self-image, but in one night he had managed to ruin everything. He had told Feli everything Feli had feared him saying. He took every one of his insecurities and threw them in his face. He knew Feli probably blamed himself for Ludwig's stress, and that he had probably resorted to his old way of seeing himself. The thought of that broke his heart, yet Ludwig felt helpless for he couldn't think of anything he could say or do to make things right.

After another hour or two of thinking, he made his way up to the bedroom once more; this time determined to make up with Feli. He paused at the doorway, thinking over what to say before hesitantly knocking on the door.

"Feli?" Not surprisingly, he was met with silence. Pressing his ear to the door, he could hear the faintest sound of movement and breathing getting closer to the door. He waited a few moments before speaking once again.

"Feli I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean a word of what I said a few days ago. I was stressed and angry, but not because of you, never because of you. I love you, I truly do. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, you didn't deserve it.' He paused. He heard more movement from the other side. Hearing no response he continued.

"I'm sorry for everything. It's just that, my boss has been putting a lot of pressure on me lately. Not only that but… Gilbert hasn't been well lately. I'm really worried about him. Not to mention that there are these people at work that just… they annoy me to put it simply. Everything has just been stressing me out, it seemed like every little thing irritated me and I've been more easily angered. I avoided you because I knew something like this would happen. I would snap, say something that I would regret and hurt you. I know I should've just talked to you but I couldn't find the words. However, that's no excuse for my actions. I should have done something instead of trying to ignore the problem. I'm so sorry…"

After a few moments of silence, he heard the door being unlocked before it opened to reveal the teary eyed brunet. He looked exhausted, bags under his eyes and clothes rumpled. There were tears in his eyes and only tear track ran across his cheeks. Ludwig shifted his gaze downwards for a second, seeing the pale lines that covered his wrists and was relived to find no new scars. He met his eyes once more and spoke softly.

"I'm so sorry Feli. I'm such an idiot and-"

"It's alright Lud" His voice was hoarse and quiet, barely above a whisper.

"No it's not. I hurt you"

"But you didn't mean too. You just said so yourself."

"But that doesn't make it right" They were both silent for a moment before Feli spoke up once more.

"I-I'm sorry about bothering you before I-"

"No, don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong Feli, You were right. My behavior wasn't exactly healthy and I needed someone to put some sense in me."

"I wasn't a bother?"

"No, you could never bother me. I love you so much Feli, more than anything. I could never get truly annoyed with you. Please don't ever think you bother me or annoy me." Fresh tears now fell across Feli's cheeks as he softly smiled at Ludwig, seeming relived. At this point he took Feli in his arms holding him close, comforting him and whispering words of love and apologies. They stayed like this for a while before Feli had fallen asleep. Picking up the sleeping man, Ludwig carried him to bed and placed him down before lying next to him and taking him in his arms. Before allowing himself to fall asleep, he kissed his forehead lovingly and whispered

"I love you."

 **Okay so:**

 **It's just a personal head cannon of mine that Italy has some form of mental illness such as depression. I might write a fic explaining later.**

 **The whole "Gilbert hasn't been well lately" is from a different story I'm working on.**

 **I kind of wrote this late at night so I know there's probably some grammar errors or some sentences might not make sense/flow well. Pease let me know what I messed up on so I can fix it**

 **Please review if you liked the story. It's nice to hear that I did well and it inspires me to keep working hard. Until next time- Dan**


End file.
